by Mark Leavy
Shoes, an autobiographical account, presents an ideal situation, i.e. a school named after the Challenger Shuttle and a little boy’s tragedy, to explore development, its course, and the pains associated with such.
The change from childhood to adulthood has one particularly poignant signifier: as adulthood approaches and the brain develops, a child moves from self absorption, “normative youthful self-centeredness” so to speak (normative narcissism), to a phase of outward looking understanding. The child moves from self to others, immaturity to maturity, child to adult.
In fact, maturity, specifically the act of embracing selfless behavior, is oddly paradoxical. Ultimately by forgetting ourselves, we are able to find ourselves. That being said, life moves from selfishness to selflessness to self-wholeness. That is the course and nature of life.
As of late, my writing curiosities have involved such developmental themes. Shoes, an autobiographical account, presents an ideal situation, i.e. a school named after the Challenger Shuttle and a little boy’s tragedy, to explore development, its course, and the pains associated with such.
As I created this piece, I began with the intent of writing a story about development but
experienced more than I expected. The writing process became an excellent time for me to understand the course of my own development – how I got to where I am, and where I currently am. Because of this, Shoes may seem self-obsessed and oddly “navel gazing,” but that is ultimately the point. I am in the process of growing up, trying to look outward and be selfless, and this story documents my attempt to do exactly that. It’s me looking out for a moment and then hopefully understanding myself a little bit more than before.
I hope that as someone listens to and experiences this simple autobiographical account, they will come to understand the importance of looking out, moving from self to other, from immature to mature, from child to adult.
Mark Leavy is a media arts student. He spent several years working on standard film production as a production designer. Currently, he is interested in experimental film and documentary. He is especially fond of absurdist film. When he is not watching, writing about, or working on films, Leavy enjoys all varieties of rock climbing, rock-and-roll, and traveling.